no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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