Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
