my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
