1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I would ride that face into the sunset
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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