okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
