Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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