Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
