I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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