addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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