just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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