It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
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Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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