Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We have so much sex to catch up on
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
