Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
