i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize