Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize