He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
