maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
ttyl tear gas
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
