Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
