just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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