Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
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They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
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Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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