He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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