I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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