I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
