but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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