At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
