i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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