when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
