i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
