erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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