nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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