tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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