mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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