I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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