when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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