Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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