so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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