Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
