It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize