I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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