So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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