Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
