The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
