watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
operation have a gay friend backfired
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
How does it feel to date your dad?
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