What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
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3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
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Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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