just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
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Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
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Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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