I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
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Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
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CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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