I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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