you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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