dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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