"it" just moved
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
