I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
