She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
