Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
