sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
