Ambien. No doubt about it.
4 words: hood of his car
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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