I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize