i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
