walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
