girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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