I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
