Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
