Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
